UK Edition
Sadie Frost: 'I used to watch the TV in splits with bricks on my legs'
I haven’t strayed more than a mile from Belsize Park in north-west London, where I was brought up. I remember going to the old pub at the end of my road as a four-year-old. I went to all the pubs in Belsize Park with my parents: my stepdad would get drunk in The Load of Hay; my mum worked as a barmaid in the Haverstock Arms. Growing up in a two-bedroom council house there, I couldn’t have guessed I’d end up living around the corner in a lovely big family home.
I was quite a naughty child, known for being clumsy and a chatterbox. “Oh dear, Sadie” was the usual chorus. My younger self would be pleased I’d scrubbed up a bit: people always said I was slightly feral as a little girl.
I don’t blame my mum for this because she was 16 when she had me and both my parents were really hippy and bohemian. The weird thing is that my current boyfriend Darren [Strowger, a communications executive] has a lot of the qualities – good qualities – of my father. He’s a lovely man, quite a character and a real entrepreneur, and I think that’s what draws me to him. We’re very fiery together.
I was always thinking about myself when I was young so I never factored in plans for a family. Then, at 24, I met Gary [Kemp, Spandau Ballet guitarist] and fell in love. I believed in finding a soul partner and spending the rest of my life with them and suddenly having a child became very important.
Kids obviously put a lot of stress on relationships and I never imagined I wouldn’t be married to the father of my children now. But I feel so lucky to have my four [Finlay, with Kemp; Rafferty, Iris and Rudy with actor Jude Law]. They’re all strong-willed characters and very much influenced by me and their dads. I’d have loved to have been the perfect mother, but I don’t know if anybody is.
I’ve always been pretty judgmental of myself, always striving to do better. I used to sit in front of the TV doing the splits with bricks on my legs, or I’d get obsessed with having the most flexible fingers for ballet and would spend hours stretching them
I lived in my head. All children do role-play but I took it further. I knew exactly what I wanted to be: an actress. I was obsessed with Hollywood and idolised Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn. I did a TV commercial when I was three and by seven, I was already thinking about making money.
My parents couldn’t afford stage school, so I was lucky to get a scholarship [to Italia Conti] at 11. I loved it, even though it was terrifying. We all have egos and don’t like rejection and a lot of children get quite messed up because they don’t understand that it’s not about them. I used to live by that phone call saying, “You’ve got this role”. Now that I’m a film producer and do castings myself, I realise there’s nothing personal in it. I don’t care if I don’t get a role because in the big scheme of things, perhaps it’s not supposed to happen.
There have always been two sides to my life. One part of me is all about work, new projects, meeting people and travelling abroad – I constantly design or write on the go and I’m no good at relaxing. I just got back from my annual holiday with the kids but I found it really hard just to turn off and do nothing. Anything too boring is really crushing for me.
The other side of me is a simple, down-to-earth girl who always wanted to live in the country, have chickens, not harm animals and live a quiet life. That hasn’t happened yet, but as time’s gone on I care less about materialism or what amazing job someone has. I like spending more time on my own, and the things that make me feel better are picking flowers and making them into a little arrangement beside my bed, or reading poems, or helping people.
In the last stage of my life I think I’ll be going: “Yes, I love what I’ve done and had a great time here, but it’s time to bail out.” I’d like to move to the English countryside or open a yoga retreat in India. My younger self would be pretty pleased with that. She’d say: “You know what? I’m really glad you worked out it was all nonsense in the end!”
Sadie Frost stars in Britten in Brooklyn, Wilton’s Music Hall, London, August 31 to September 17. wiltons.org.uk
Interview by Olivia Parker